Student Life

My Mental Health Experience in College

My Mental Health Experience in College
In a blog meant for students, by students, it seems fitting to spin a tale on one of the murkier aspects of college: mental health. 

And in order to give room for conversation, we need to start it first right? So, here’s my story.
Year One: Suffering in Silence
I knew I had depression long before coming into college. The last two years of high school were a nightmare. But the thing about college is that it’s a new experience, right? You want to become something, someone new. You want to be better, have that fresh start. 

So yeah, I had depression. Depression, mounting deadlines, a lot of all-nighters, and tears. But hey, I was handing my work in on time and getting decent grades back. Just had to keep it up for three more years. Easy right? Wrong.
Year Two: The Breakdown
My mantra of suppressing my emotions lasted a grand total of three semesters before crumbling. I started failing my classes. I missed deadlines, my crying turned into anxiety and panic attacks. The thing is depression doesn’t go away just because you refuse to acknowledge it. 

I thought approaching my profs and saying I was barely holding on was a sign of weakness. I was ashamed. It seemed like everyone else has this college thing in the bag, why couldn’t I? I didn’t know it was okay to ask for help. That year didn’t just drag down my GPA, it dragged down everything that made me, me.
Year Three: The Two Steps Forward, One Step Back Road to Recovery
I’m not going to lie, asking for help? It’s hard. Even harder is coming to terms with how it’s not a linear recovery. I started counselling at the end of my second year. I still wasn’t really asking for help, but I was talking which was a start. 

And if I’ve learned anything, it’s that we don’t like asking for extensions. It doesn’t make us feel good, no matter how valid the reason. But mental health is one of those areas where if you’re struggling, you have every right to ask for help. 

Even if you and I don’t know it, professors do. Most times if you ask, they give you the extension. Secret from somebody who learned the hard way.
Year Four: Every Day is Learning
I know, cheesy. But my final year is when I’m really starting to grasp that it’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to go to a teacher and say “hey, I’m not okay. I’m really struggling and I’m afraid of what it’s turning me into.” 

There are so many resources on campus we don’t know about. Accessibility services, counselors, on and on. I wish somebody had told me back in year one that asking for help was okay, that mental health isn’t something to be ashamed of. 

And maybe this post is verging on serious, but sometimes we need to put the joking aside. Honestly speaking, I don’t know where I would be if I stayed quiet.

Don’t be afraid to ask. I was, and it cost me. Your story, how you feel, is just as important as any deadline, any assignment. Don’t forget that in the rush of college. Don’t forget that you come first.